But if you're really looking for love (or an mediocre-but-nonetheless-acceptable relationship to relieve the aching abyss of loneliness), you've got to give yourself a fighting chance.
Having plumbed the murky depths of online dating in my time, from My Single Friend to OKCupid to, um, Bristlr (the service for people who have – or like people with – beards), here are my biggest online dating Don't s for men ... Don't forget to get dressed Everyone knows the importance of the profile photo.
Getting it right is tricky but integral to attracting potential mates for dates.
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I can see how you might have taken it in the first place.
Maybe you'd just got out of the shower, caught sight of yourself in the mirror and thought, “Hot damn, I look pretty fly! Don't appear illiterate Spelling and grammar aren't everyone's cup of tea.
” Maybe you were suddenly swept up in the idea of capturing your youthful, Adonis-like body to look back on in your dotage. And if they're not yours, it sure as heck doesn't mean you don't deserve happiness.
Or maybe you were weird enough to want to show your future grandchildren how ripped you once were. However, the reality is that a really poor grasp of the English language can be a huge turn-off for women online.
But why, in the name of all that is holy and good, would you put it on a dating site? Also, it simply smacks of laziness in this day and age.
You are not chiselling your profile out of a stone tablet, nor are you scribbling it with a quill on a scrap of yellowing parchment.
You wrote it on a smartphone or computer, with predictive text and inbuilt spell check and all the rest.
It's probably harder NOT to spell correctly under such circumstances, and is therefore, one can only presume, just wilfully badly done on your part. You're an intelligent, wry, witty, cool sort of guy.
The mornings are dark, the evenings are darker, and with another New Year comes the creeping existential dread that you have NO IDEA WHAT ON EARTH YOU ARE DOING WITH YOUR LIFE.
Just as January is therefore a popular month for job hunting and kick-starting niche hobbies, so the online dating scene really heats up. Enough of this dying alone business,” singles everywhere think to themselves.
“I'm going to catch myself a partner, and if I slip over in the shower and crack my skull open, at least someone will notice and/or care as my brain dribbles across the tiles.