By Ethan Fixell Many women have asked me when it might be "best" to have sex with a guy for the first time. Will maintaining abstinence until marriage scare a guy away? ), you and your partner must decide for yourselves when to have sex, based on the circumstances and your personal preferences. The problem with these questions is that they are all highly subjective: unless you met your partner on one of a few Christian dating sites (in which case, your sexual fate might be predetermined!
That's not to say you shouldn't "live in the moment" and enjoy a frisky night of instant gratification now and then!
But by jumping right into sex, you're sacrificing much of the exciting build-up of a slow burning romance.
Most daters are well attuned to this, and will take your disinterest in savoring any anticipation for sex to signal that you're not especially concerned with the long term.
Additionally, holding off on intercourse can be one of the best ways to protect oneself.
For example, some men have no problem waiting indefinitely for sex -- but plenty of others may become frustrated or feel rejected by seemingly endless postponements.
In such cases, communication is crucial so that neither party builds up any resentment.
Partners must be open about their wishes, and might even try to reach some sort of compromise (whether time-based, or through alternative sexual acts).
I do believe that – barring any religious beliefs – there is absolutely nothing wrong with having sex long before marital engagement.
Emotions can run high during and after sex, which releases many powerful hormones and has been biologically proven to trigger feelings of attachment.
The experience can be especially intense for more inexperienced lovers.
Waiting to have sex until both parties are more certainly on the same page with regards to commitment can decrease the chance of someone getting hurt.