But for all the other men out there who got the memo in third grade that if you find someone attractive, you ask her out, the easiest thing to do is simply observe them. Which meant that if he liked you, at some point over 10 years, he would have let you know it. Did he tell you about other women and ask you for advice on them?So, looking back on your history, was your friend somewhat confident, charismatic, and funny? If so, I could have told you from the beginning that he saw you as just a friend.
I can only make such a list because there I am friends with women under all four of those pretenses – I’m not attracted to her, I’ve hooked up with her before, I’ve slept around and don’t need to do it again, and I’m married and not ruining a good thing.
So when you’re assessing future friendships with men, first ask yourself whether he’s the shy, awkward guy who may be repressing his true feelings for you. A friend admitted to her feelings for me a while back and while I was physically attracted to her (and, originally considering dating her when I first met her but didn’t because I was dating someone else and she had recently gotten out of a long term relationship) I decided to try to keep our friendship instead because I couldn’t see myself “married” to her or in a long term relationship.
If he’s not, he’s probably not interested in you and is one of the four men above. I didn’t see the point of ruining our friendship for the matter of a dating situation that might last a year or 2.
How can you turn an awkward first date with the man of your dreams into the relationship you’ve dreamed of?
Evan, I have a common problem that you’ve responded to lots of times: I fooled myself into thinking that my friend of 10 years had feelings for me, and when I mustered up the nerve to tell him, I was shot down. We talked almost every day, he told me I was hot, he told me that he fantasized about me, and we went traveling together. Now that I know my feelings are not returned, I’ve cut him out of my life so that I can move on and find someone who truly does love me.
I have to admit though, that this whole experience has left me scarred.I was wondering if you could explain how to avoid a situation like this in the future.Do men always ask out a woman they’re immediately interested in? Does the romantic story of “When Harry Met Sally” really just exist in the movies? I’ve never answered this question before, and I’m glad you shared your story with me.It definitely hurts to have a long-time unrequited love and I’d be lying to you if I said that I never experienced the exact same thing.So believe me when I tell you, everything you’re going through is very common – and, not only that, but this will NEVER ever happen to you again. First of all, you have to stop beating yourself up over the outcome of your friendship. But there are some things that you could have been ignoring the entire time you were with him that led to this crisis.Any woman in a similar position would have read all of those signs in the same way. The first thing that I can think of is that he’s not some shy beta male who had a crush on you for ten years and was too embarrassed to make a move. Maybe more, but I don’t know too many men like that.