Which brings us to your more general task: neutralizing her insecurity by conveying that bigger is . That you don't feel like less of a man when you're with her. Some of it boils down to you owning a more classic masculinity—going in for the kiss first, deciding the dinner location, simply being more assertive.
For chrissakes, I'm talking about , Amy Webb's memoir about online dating, she confesses she felt she needed a man who was at least five-ten.
(Webb is five-six, making that requirement just one inch shy of the eight-percent average.) "I wanted someone to overpower me, who could wrap his entire body around me in a hug, but who could also throw me down on a bed and ravish me," she writes.
"Someone who's smaller may be wonderful, but in my case he will never make me feel like he's in control." (To those of you who just thought , I agree.
I'll get there in a minute.)Women have internalized the message that it's better for us to be smaller.
This is essential to know—it's not just about shortness, but also skinniness.
To be bigger than men is to worry that you'll turn them off.
Webb found that it isn't just men lying about their height online, women do, too—to appear shorter. I've taken to giving my whiskey a single swirl, looking down my nose and saying slowly, "You are boring me. You would never walk up to a woman and open with, "What's your bra size?
(With good cause: Women over six feet receive forty percent fewer messages on Ok Cupid than their 5'4" counterparts.) Ask any super-tall woman about her dateless teenage years and the number of times a well-meaning adult said to her, "The boys are just So how do we get over our collective height hangup? After all, it's nearly impossible for we amazons to find a partner who meets the classic 8-percent height differential, so we've to get comfortable dating smaller men. So let's first take a basic lesson from the world of super-tall women: Do not approach a leggy lady and fucking open with "How tall are you? " Even if her height is part of her appeal, wait until fifth-date post-coital bliss to say how much you love it.
The first question most strangers ask me is "How tall are you? In one survey, about half of collegiate men required their date to be shorter, while a monstrous nine of every ten women said they would only date a taller man.