In theory, it is supposed to be a cute and flirty way to tell someone that you’re interested in them, get them to check out your profile and maybe send you a message. They expend time and energy waiting checking her activity dates, wondering if she got that message, if he should send a second one… Approaching women out in the world is like spear-fishing – one at a time.In reality, it’s seen as a passive-aggressive way of trying to bait someone else into making the first move. At worst, you’ve just sent the wrong message A proper first contact message is convoluted; you want to set certain expectations and convey an attractive image of yourself. It sounds a little cold-blooded and impersonal, but you’re going to want to have a stock first message. Treat approaching women on online dating sites should be like dynamite fishing; you want to toss your messages out there and see what floats to the surface.
You are approaching her almost as though you are auditioning her; approaching her as though you are begging for her attention is just going to make you look like a loser. Now, as for the structure: The Subject Line: The subject line is the first line of defense you have to get past.
Women are usually outnumbered by a factor of 10 at least and are being messaged all the time.
The subject line of the emails then proves to be an initial filter.
This is why I am a great fan of the Dadaist subject line.
Now that you’ve had a week or two to write up your profile and dip your toe into the world of online dating, it’s time to take a step back and take stock. Even a terse “Fuck off, cave troll” means that at least you’re being heard. It’s one of those times that makes you feel like you’re ready to scrap the whole idea and try your hand in places where you might have more success…
Or are you sending a lot of messages out into the void, never to be heard from again? Much like in real life, the only reaction that really infuriates is reaction.
like randomly approaching strangers and demanding that they get coffee with you.
But now that you’ve had some time to try things out…
have you considered that maybe, just maybe, you’re going about it all wrong?
Much like dating in the real world, online dating presents an almost infinite number of ways to shoot yourself in the foot and kill your chances before you even get started.
Much like in the real world, first impressions count for everything; in online dating, women have even way of contacting someone: the wink, poke, nudge, smile, flirt function.